Here at Bloody Bookish we believe writers are real life superheros.
And horror writers? Another breed entirely.
Our Horror Writer Superhero Spotlight shines the spotlight squarely on the twisted minds who bring you dark literature in all its dastardly forms.
Today’s spotlight shines on Anthony Rapino. Read his cautionary tale about the dangers of pie and texting…
Q: What is the name of your alter ego?
A: Onipar. He likes fresh meat and slippers. Also, toast. Those who know me will recognize this as my oft-used screen name. What they wouldn’t have know is that it’s also my alter ego, in the classic construction of taking my real last name and flipping it backwards.
Q: Who or what is your nemesis?
A: My nemesis is the dreaded pre-holiday holiday. You know, Christmas layouts before Halloween. One day I shall come down like the hammer of Thor and smite all those who submit to pre-holiday holidays! Victory will be mine! Oh, and mayonnaise on hamburgers. I really hate that.
Q: What would be a fitting name for your sidekick?
A: Dimwit. Seriously. Anyone who knowingly joins forces with me can’t be all there.
Q: If you could (or do) have superpowers, describe them.
A: I do have superpowers, and they are fantastic. I have the power to control automobiles. With a single touch, I can make a car not start. Every car I’ve ever owned has had starter problems. Now I just have to work on, you know, fixing them. I also have the power of self-restraint. Watch as I drive my car without talking on the cell phone! Observe, as I converse with another human being, never once checking my text messages! Witness my amazing ability to turn my cell phone off for hours at a time! Finally, and most amazingly, I have the pumpkin power. With this power, I can make the most orange and hard of the pumpkin species into soft and edible pies.
Q: How would you conquer the forces of good/evil (depending on your Superhero’s moral affiliation).
A: I’d fight both the good *and* the evil, because lets be honest, sometimes the “good” can be super-annoying with their superiority complexes and “do-gooder” attitudes. Insufferable. I would conquer them all with a mighty blast of my Shut-The-Fuck-Up Ray, which makes them all shut the fuck up. Forever.
Q: What would be your ultimate downfall?
A: Pie. My constant and unquenchable hunger for great pie will take me to all corners of the Earth, and when I least expect it, I’ll catch malaria. It won’t kill me, but it *will* weaken me enough to ground me in the United States, causing me to have to go to local stores for my pie. On one of these treks for pie, I’ll be run over by someone driving while texting. Apparently I wasn’t thorough enough with my Shut-The-Fuck-Up Ray. Many will mourn me, and I’ll be buried with pumpkin pie and whipped cream.
Anthony J. Rapino resides in Northeastern Pennsylvania, somewhere between the concrete of the city and the trees of the forest. On occasion, you’ll find him moderating the feverish battles between the creatures of these two arenas. Whose side he’s on is anyone’s guess.
His newest fiction can be found in upcoming issues of Black Ink Horror, On Spec, Arcane, and TQR Stories. Current work can be found through his website. His first novel, Soundtrack to the End of the World, will be available from Bad Moon Books in late 2011.
Still jonesin’ for more horror? Check out the Coffin Hop for 99 ways to win Halloween swag!