Coffin Hopping with Johanna K. Pitcairn

There’s nothing better than welcoming the witching season by curling up on the couch with big bowl o’ hot buttered popcorn, some sugary goodies and watching your favorite horror flick on t.v.

But one can only watch those creepy kids with the empty stares so many times before becoming jaded.

Today’s spotlight author, Johanna K. Pitcairn, tells us how she would use her trusty AK47 to survive an attack by a crazy mish-mashed Horror Movie Creature!

BB: Using mythical creatures, popular movie villains, strange characters and any other
weirdness your twisted mind can think of, conjure up what you think the next Big Bad horror villain should be.

I’ve always loved Freddy Krueger and Jason, so I’d like to see a freaky Jason’s hockey mask, Freddy’s blade hands, plus the crazy hair of the Grudge, on the body of Alien mixed with Predator and as big as Godzilla. Is that freaky enough? Oh and it’s also a cockroach-dragon-snake acid spitting creature made of purple phosphorescent goo. Yeah. I think we got it.

BB: What would you do if you ran into said villain?

I’d run. Fast. LOL

Ok, ok, in a perfect world, I’d kill it with a single thought. Just like a Jedi. In an imperfect world, I’d just grab a big AK47 and blow his villain brains/guts out.

BB: You need to stand out from the other victims in the movie. What catchphrase would you scream as you try to run away?

Get ready for an epic showdown!

BB: The monster has you and your friends cornered. What do you do?

I use my friends as human shields against the acid. Um. Strike that. I use my friends as bait while I try to find the Achille’s heel of this monster – this one is gotta be hard to defeat. I seriously need good weaponry to be a hero!

BB: What is your weapon of choice to fight the Big Bad?

AK47. No questions asked. Unless I can use my thoughts.

BB: What is the eventual outcome? Is your number up? Or do you survive (and if so, how does the ordeal effect you)?

I totally survive. Are you kidding? I develop PTSD and take tons of pills, commit self-mutilation and become OCD. But I also write a few novels a la Stephen King and become a cultural phenomenon. I dress up like Lady Gaga and claim I’m a genius. I even get a Nobel Prize. So not bad for turning crazy huh?

About Johanna K. Pitcairn
I always loved to write, and as a kid, I dreamed of becoming a writer. I finished my first novel at the age of 9 and authored more stories for many years after that, including two movie scripts when I was 17. I took a break
from writing when I started law school in 2000, and really thought I was done with it, because “writing does not pay the bills”, my dad used to say. But life made me go back to it ten years later. I live in New York City and I write about my life, my hopes, my fears, my friends and my enemies, and anything else that comes to mind. Leave a comment if you enjoy the ride!

Johanna’s book, Death By Chocolate, is available on Curiosity Quills until Thanksgiving, then will be released on Amazon – the upcoming version is re-edited (Just like Star Wars)!

Death by Chocolate Vol 2 – Chapter 1 will be released in a few weeks on Curiosity Quills as well.

Find out more about Johanna:


Check out the other authors taking part in the Coffin Hop – there are some stellar prizes to be won, including a BLOODY BOOKISH PRIZE PACK!

And don’t forget to check out our other Coffin Hop posts below!

One Comment Add yours

  1. Sounds like a heck of a movie, great post.


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